Silence
As I wake up, I'm still tired from a long, exhausting 14-hour shift; I take a look at myself in the bathroom mirror. 'Maybe I'll try today,' I say to myself while looking at my dark circles and gloomy reflection. I took my clothes off and headed into the shower. The cold water rained down on my tired and worn-out body. As I embraced the lovely refreshing water, I sighed to myself: "Can I just sleep forever?" I turned the faucet off, dried myself, and got dressed for work. As I was heading towards the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of the clock. 8:40 am "Shit… I'm running late again." I yelled.
I place the bread inside the toaster and sprint back into my room to get ready. I grab my keys, phone, and backpack, run back to the kitchen to grab my toast, head straight to the door, and start up my old Mitsubishi eclipse. I knew I was already late, so I might as well take my sweet time getting there.
I stared at the road ahead of me, but my mind strayed and started thinking about other things. The car ride wasn't that entertaining; it was just me, my thoughts, and the sounds of the cars and trucks passing by. My mind kept wandering off, and the song began to hit; before I knew it, I was singing from the top of my lungs.
“A ELLA LE GUSTA LA GASOLINA! DAME MAS GASOLINA!" "IMMA BE BE BE BE IMMA IMMA BE" At some point, I was yelling the lyrics to my favorite childhood songs.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
That middle school dance was so embarrassing. I didn't think I would look so stupid dancing to these songs. I'm pretty sure my crush back then laughed at me. I also remembered the times I would spend with my Abuela and sit and watch the local tv series after school. Sometimes she fell asleep during them and forgot to cook dinner, but I never woke her up. I knew it was hard for her to take care of me when mom was working and studying simultaneously.
BEEP Bip Bip BEEP!
Grandma is almost eighty. She doesn't go out much. I need to visit her once in a while before she's gone. I don't know how I would react if she passed away. She's been with me since I was a baby. I'd lose a part of myself. But who am I?
HOOOOOONK!
What's going to happen when I die? How am I going to die? Am I dying with my kids and grandkids next to me? Or am I dying alone in the hospital bed? Will I die first, even if I'm the youngest sibling? What's it like after I die? Where do I go? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation? All these existential questions begin to bear weight in my mind and body. My brain starts to become a battlefield. My head starts to hurt, and shivers start to crawl throughout my body.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH------!”
BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP!
I jumped to the sound of the honking truck as I almost crashed into it. My lungs filled with air as I tried to calm myself down. I focus myself back towards the road. As I wait at the traffic light to turn towards my job, I take a deep breath, look at my dashboard, and see the empty slot with all the wires pouring out. I tell myself, “I can't keep driving in silence.”
